Are you Living in the Old Paradigm. In Blackboard Fridays Episode 117, Jacob talks about Culture. Need this implemented into your business? Talk to the international business advisor who can do exactly that – Contact Jacob, Learn More, or Subscribe for Updates.
Who is Jacob Aldridge, Business Coach?
“The smart and quirky advisor who gets sh!t done in business.” Back independent since 2019.
Since April 2006, I’ve been an international business advisor providing bespoke solutions for privately-owned businesses with 12-96 employees.
At this stage you have proven your business model, but you’re struggling to turn aspirations into day-to-day reality. You are still responsible for all 28 areas of your business, but you don’t have the time or budget to hire 28 different experts.
You need 1 person you can trust who can show you how everything in your business is connected, and which areas to prioritise first.
This week’s topic is a little bit of a trick question because at some point, we’re all living in the old paradigm. The purpose of this Blackboard Fridays episode is to explain what I mean by that, to create some awareness in you about the behaviors you may be creating, and then to give you an understanding of an alternative, another choice that you, your team, may have for experiencing life in a different way.
The old paradigm is represented by this, what’s often known as the drama triangle. If you create a circumstance, and the reality is that the modern world pushes us to live in this space. It often, through things like marketing or just power struggles, seeks to create and define victims, to make us feel that we are victimized at effect of the outside world.
Now of course, a victim needs a persecutor, that’s someone or something that is victimizing them. And where you have a persecutor and a victim, you create the need or the opportunity for a rescuer.
All three of these live in an at-effect space. We may feel that the victim is the only one at effect but the reality is that a persecutor can only play that role if they have a victim and the rescuer can only play that role if there is a persecutor-victim going on.
Each of them requires the others to play the game. And indeed, you don’t need three people to play this game. You don’t even need two. This is something that we often do to ourselves, beat ourselves up and try and rescue ourselves, and find ourselves spending an awful lot of time and energy stuck in this space.
The rescuer, incidentally, is the one where a lot of people feel validated. They feel that they are contributing to society because they’re the ones who are often stepping in to rescue the victims. In reality, they are at effect and they are usually creating the victim situation that they can come and swoop in. As one of my old colleagues once taught me, people who value themselves by fixing things create a world where they’re surrounded by broken shit.
What all three of these have in common is that they are driven from a fear-based decision-making. They live in a paradigm of being at effect, of being fearful and being uncertain. You do have choices. And the choice that I encourage is to shift from the old paradigm into the new.
To shift from being at effect of the world around you to being at cause. And the definition we have here is instead of playing one of these roles, it’s about the I, and it’s about I choose and I create the whole of my reality.
Now the key word there is whole. This is not about creating half. This is not just about creating the good things and blaming others for the bad things because that continues to pull you back into being at effect of others. If you choose to create the whole of your reality, to live at cause, then you will find yourself increasingly making decisions from a love space.
Now the challenges with consistently living in this space as opposed to that are significant and certainly outside of the scope of a broad, short video like this one. What I hope you can understand at the very least is that in a world where so much of what we’re taught, told, and modeled on teaches us to make decisions out of fear, we do have complete choice, complete control, to instead make decisions out of love to choose and create the reality that we want for ourselves and to spread that love through those around us.
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